gaiarady

It’s remarkable, how the concept of true love has been so thoroughly destroyed.

The fact that the average person is such a hardened, cynical individual as to scoff at the concept of true love is a sad statement indeed. Yet it is true that there are many people who have grown up and lived their whole lives without experiencing true love. They have experienced infatuation, and a range of emotions and interdependencies, but never have they had unconditional love.

How can it be that a human lives their life without unconditional love?

They do not love themselves unconditionally. Their parents do not, did not, love them unconditionally. How can anyone have a loving relationship with another when they do not even have a loving relationship with themselves?

Of course, then you must delve into the reasons why people do not love themselves. Chiefly, it is that they have no sense of self outside what is affirmed by others, and anyone so dependent on external input cannot sustain their own self-image and degenerates accordingly. Then there is the fact that human beings must be able to derive joy from their existence, and this is not done when one is little more than a cog in the vast, complex machine — uncared for, distanced from everyone and yet so dependent upon them at the same time, leading a life bereft of meaning, of spiritual knowledge or sense of purpose.

Yet that is the lot of many.  These are interesting times, certainly.

There is a difference, however, between loving oneself and being self-aggrandizing. Worshipping ones ego is not healthy. Knowing ones status in life, what is expected of one and what is within ones realm of responsibilities and duties, to both the community and to oneself — these things give one certainty about life, and certainty about oneself. One cannot have the basic conviction of being good if they know that they behave in a criminal fashion, leeching off of others emotionally or openly extorting them, to flat out war-crimes and inhumane actions. If one knows that one is being dishonourable, acting against natural law, then one cannot hide that truth from themself.

Thus, if a truly ignorant man commits a crime which he does not understand, then he may be pardoned, and he may learn the error of his way and evolve his actions accordingly, with remorse for what he did in his ignorance. Ignorance is different than denial or willing self-deception, in which the person knows what they have done is wrong, yet they have done it anyway, whether under duress or otherwise.

One may love oneself when one has certainty of purpose, certainly of being, and thus also a sense of achievement and intention, guidance in growth and evolution. Without loving oneself, one cannot unconditionally love another. To love yourself, you must be honest about who you are, about what you do, about why you do it. You cannot resolve any problems you may be having, nor any dependencies or vices, unless you are completely honest about your motivations as well as your actions.

You cannot give a gift in expectation of something in return. You cannot be cordial to another in expectation of something in response. A woman cannot lead a man on to get to his money, and a man likewise cannot lead a woman on in pursuit of sex, nor the other way around for either gender; as there are many young men who would equally target elderly women of reputed wealth, as equally as women who would lead a man on for casual sex.  Not a pretty picture of society, unfortunately.

You must be honest with yourself and in your dealings with others. If you cannot be honest with yourself about yourself, there is something wrong and you will not be at ease, you will not experience true love, and you will suffer at your own hands.

We know ourselves. We cannot hide forever from the truths we know of our pasts, and we must deal with them. They cannot be swept away and forgotten with time. We will always remember. Even if we forget for a time, we will remember when it matters most. Therefore, if we wish to look upon our memories and feel just, and sure of our actions, then we must always act in accordance with the truth, we must always cede before the correct authorities and before the indisputable objective reality which presents us with the truth.

If we wish to take pride in a life well led, we must take care to lead it well, to make the proper decisions, to be our own guiding force.

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